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Le Poem De La Sweat I sit here at my keyboard fair, Sweat beads streaking through my hair, I just got home from working out at the gym, In a very vain effort to get fit and trim. I wonder why it has to be this way, Joints a-hurtin’ and old legs that sway, I’m breathing so hard, it’s like a monsoon, I’m sure I could inflate a hot air balloon. As I worked out, I looked all around, Amazed at the different type people I found, I cussed the skinny people who don’t break a sweat, The more they eat, the thinner they get. It doesn’t seem right, yet what can I do, They’re still real skinny, but my stomach’s all goo. And there’s a big guy, who’s puffing like me, His sweatpants are too small, his gut I can see, When he bends over to pick up some weights, I think of full moons, the association I hate. To my right is a lady, she works hard and tries, No weight in her chest, but lots in her thighs, She’s standing there eyeing the sit-up bench, If she lays down on it, we may need a wench. Right straight ahead is a real foxy mama, Her tan lines remind me of the Bahamas, Her work-out outfits couldn’t be more tiny, If she makes a quick move, I might glimpse her heiny. As for me, I’m on a Stairmaster, A pretty good recipe for an impending disaster, My legs are feeling like concrete poles, If my brain were x-rayed, it’d be full of holes. One minute goes by, then two, then three, The water gods are all calling out to me, My chest feels tight, my eyes feel glazed, If I don’t throw up, I’ll be mega amazed. Finally, I finish, and I can go home, And sit my butt down, to finish this poem, Amy, my dear, I enjoyed this plenty, Now break out your purse and slip me that twenty. Well, hmmmm. You know, I’ve gotta be honest here, Amy may be right. Poetry does bring out a tender, compassionate side within me that I never knew I had. To be totally truthful, I really struggled hard from an emotional standpoint while writing this poem, in fact, tears almost came to my eyes several times, but, I fought them off in order to do my literary duty. I guess I’ve sort of become a true Renaissance man, scripting out tender verses like these. It makes me feel pretty good inside, to tell you the truth. I would go further, and maybe get into some pretty heavy dialogue about philosophy or religion, but I can’t right now. I happen to be writing this on a Monday night, and RAW is WAR is about to come on. And, as we all know, even a true Renaissance man like me can’t miss out on seeing Triple H in action...
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